Make a list—it should be fun. Traditions big or small, carried on or long passed, old/new/borrowed/blue. Traditions beget memories and memories bring feelings of structure.
How many of the things you carry on with your family are traditions you grew up with? What traditions have your family started? Who, when and where did the “what” begin? All fun questions for me.
This came to me while cooking weekend breakfast for our grandchildren. Growing up, our dad spent every Sunday morning at the stove. That became my role with my own kids, and they now do it with theirs.
Such things perhaps are not necessarily "important," yet I have always found them reassuring.
Let me get you started on your own list by sharing my initial list.
Carried on from my own childhood:
Praying before meals – Probably a couple centuries old in Alice and my families.
Easter egg coloring and basket hunts – Easter Saturday mornings were and are a time for coloring eggs, baking, cooking and merriment. On Sunday, Alice turns into Bad Bunny by hiding kids’ baskets in extremely hard to find places. In their early teens, the kids had to climb into attics and treehouses. By their late teens, she once drove their baskets to our warehouse and hid them there. She is currently turning up the heat as our eldest grands grow up.
"Cousindom" – The generation prior to mine placed very high value on getting to know our aunts' and uncles and their kids. It is just as strong with our and my siblings' kids, and now I can see it emerging with our six grands who crave being together.
Shaving cream fights – It started when my sister went to kiss my brother goodbye in 1958 while he was shaving, and he playfully held her while smearing her with shaving cream kisses. That established a generational goof that lasts to this day. The next generation has switched to Silly String, but most McCarthy weddings and reunions still features dozens of adults and children chasing each other with aerosol cans.
Our generation:
Card and board games – My generations did some of this, but current generations are now completely immersed in tournament-like euchre and uno and a musical chairs-type card game called “Spoons”. Board games add to unwinding while we are together.
Music appreciation – All my siblings grew up listening to, singing, and dancing to live and recorded music and our Uncle Charlie taught us to sing funny songs together. Current generations add guitars to sing-a-longs for social grease at family gatherings.
Halloween – Fun but not huge for me growing up, Alice and I turned up the volume. She spent weeks on costumes, and I’d get home early to help carve the pumpkins, leaving the seeds to bake with salt. Alice then stayed home to give treats so she could see all the costumes while I, like Bad Bunny, created my own tradition of the “Dad Tax”: 10% of the candy they collected for the privilege of my leading them around.
Soon, I’ll write a more comprehensive list for posterity. In the meantime, send me your thoughts on your own traditions and memories.
Peace,
Tim McCarthy
Quote of the Month: Catherine Burns
"If you look at the facts of something and write down your thoughts, you find that those thoughts lead to certain feelings, and those feelings lead to action. If you can practice new thoughts, you can change outcomes for yourself."
---Catherine Burns
Song of the Month: "Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman, covered by Ryan Montbleau
Editor’s Note: The original of this song is a favorite, but Monbleau’s interpretation adds more instrumentation and, for me, meaning to the story. If you have worked with the poor or have or had an addict in your life, the story is chilling because it is real.
Favorite lyrics:
"See my old man’s got a problem,
He lives with the bottle and that’s the way it is,
He says his body’s too old for working,
I said his body’s too young to be looking like his.
My mama went off and left him, she wanted more from life than he could give,
I said somebody’s got to take care of him, so I quit school and that’s what I did”
The song ends with her fast car driver husband repeating her father’s behavior.
Book of The Month: "5 Types of Wealth" by Sahil Bloom
Editor’s Notes: I’ve enjoyed many books regarding the value of time and wealth but none describe as thoughtfully and thoroughly. The added value is three more important types of wealth – social, mental and physical. Bloom adds actionable steps that made this book highly motivating for me.
Favorite excerpts:
- “The scoreboard is broken”
- “Never let the quest for more distract you from the beauty of enough.”
Truly Funny: Miller
I was visiting my outlandish brother, Miller, not long after he moved to Florida when we went to the dealer to pick up his new Volkswagen Beetle convertible. On our way home, he stopped at a tool and die maker's shop, who was obviously expecting him. Before starting his work, the man looked at my brother and said, "You sure you want to do this to a brand-new car?"
My brother said, "Of course."
The tool guy then proceeded to drill large holes in the floorboards in front of each of the four seats. I said, "Miller, what the hell are you doing?"
He said, "I'm enjoying the sunshine here so much that the top on this car will never go up, and I don't have room for it in my garage."
True to his words, that little car's top was never up during the time he owned it.
