Truly Funny: Sports

I read about, listen to, and watch sports programming with rabid interest.  As a result, I have dozens of actual quotes from coaches I consider truly funny.  Here are two of my favorites.

The Big Ten coach responding to a reporter’s question about his installing a very complicated offense, “Well, I figure if we don’t know what we’re doing, how is the defense going to figure us out?”

Another coach responding to reporter’s question, “Do you think there is widespread corruption in college football”?  “No,” said the coach, “I think 95% of all college programs are clean…the other 5% make up the Top 20”.