Several times a year, my son, Tim, and friend, Brian Bowers, and I speak to business management classes at Ohio State. Among the topics most discussed is managing people.

Brian always gets attention when he tells the students “the most difficult person you will ever manage is yourself.”

I love that line. And I’ve been reminded of it lately.

When I was working for the man, I often felt sorry for my bosses. I’m not an easy guy to manage. In fact, I was very difficult at best, particularly during my younger years.

Since 1988, the only boss I’ve had is me. And it’s been a hell of a struggle. ☺

At this age, I now see that I will only be effective with others if I’m making progress in my own journey.

Like so many things in management, trust is the key. Why should someone trust me if I don’t trust (or falsely trust) myself?

This lesson was hardest to learn in my personal relationships. I can remember screaming at my brothers and sisters that they should be nicer to me. How’s that for a paradox?

My kids knew what I thought they should do; they didn’t always see me do it.

And I pretty near convinced Alice at one point that if only she would change, I could. (Just writing those words hurt!)

And business is no different.

I’ve learned to manage sales people fairly well but in a direct selling situation, I get extremely anxious. When I’m anxious, I talk. And talk. And talk. (My kids call it “bloviating.”)

And yet I know the best sales people are not as much great talkers as they are excellent listeners. So, if I lecture our sales people that they must become better listeners then bloviate at their clients when I’m with them... I am the proverbial clanging cymbal.

It might help my sales person to be reminded to listen but it will inspire her if she sees me listen.

Business schools teach management of others but Brian reminds them, and me about the most difficult person I’ll ever have to manage – me.

Peace.

Tim McCarthy