This blog title is borrowed from an Avett Brothers song, which is also featured as the song of the month on our foundation website. Over time, I’ve been training myself to say “I love you” right out loud to people who are not always expecting – and occasionally not accepting – such a sentiment from me.

Here’s how I used to stop myself:

• I…oh, this macho man might not take this well 
• I…um, she’s really more business friend than personal 
• I…she may think I’m hitting on her 
• I…will he take it wrong, he’s had a tough history 
• I…do I really have the kind of commitment to this person to make such a strong statement

And on and on and on; but you get the idea. Perhaps you’re familiar with it or feel the same way sometimes.

But I’ve decided that you can’t really say “love” wrong.

If you feel it, say it. If you don’t feel it, don’t. But for goodness sake, don’t add a reason to the million reasons we all hold back love.

Sure I may have done something to that person that they are having a hard time forgiving. Sure, they may “take it the wrong way”. There’s even a chance I will look and feel the fool.

But, for me, I’ve decided that the alternative is worse so I’m learning to take the chance more often.

I lost a friend this week to a freak accident. He was the MVP of my peer group, my attorney and my “go-to guy” on all things legal, business and personal.

Here’s why that tragedy fits this article. His Mom and Dad, his kids, his wife, his friends and his business colleagues never wondered whether my friend loved them. He said it early and often to those he cared about most. And the only solace I’m feeling today is that he was one of the guys I decided to not hold back with.

I love you. It’s a phrase that can change someone’s feelings about themselves but most importantly it helps them know how you feel about them.

There will be a time that it’s too late for me to say I love you so I will continue to take my chances.

Peace,

Tim McCarthy