People resist change and most are successful at doing so…unless and until something dramatic happens. Health crises seem to be the most motivating but also losing a loved one can change the course of one’s life, as well.
And not always for the better.
I know people who turned inward and bitter when they lost someone close to them. I’ve also known people who changed to honor their lost loved one by carrying on their spirit in their own lives. By doing so, they changed and grew as a person.
Change can also be motivated by failure. Many entrepreneurs learn from failure by changing their approach. Others use their failure as a cause for bitterness instead of learning and trying again. The bitter ones find it easier to blame other factors for their own lack of response to our ever- changing business environment. If you hear, I failed due to a lousy partner, the economy, the bank…it’s rarely true.
We fail mostly by refusing to change.
Divorce is another change that frees some, embitters others. On my son’s recent divorce, a friend told him that his parents (together 43 years) are proof that “length of marriage is not a measure of success”.
Self-realization is essential for change. It’s been a life-long task for me to identify what is and is not working for me, personally and professionally.
My crucible moment was in 1995 (age 43) when I was experiencing occasional heart attacks. After extensive testing it was found I was having anxiety (panic) attacks that presented themselves physically. Seeing no other option, I submitted to two and a half years of psychological therapy at the end of which I was given medication and the assignment to study and practice meditation.
27 years later medication, meditation, prayer and workouts allow me to see things as they are in the moment. The powerful result of seeing reality in the moment allows us to deal more skillfully with change.
Peace,
Tim McCarthy