When I would tell my Mom that “my friends are doing it,” she would say “If your friends all jumped in the lake, should you?”
Being an inveterate wise ass even back then I’d say, “If it’s summertime, Mom, yes.”
We all know how bad peer pressure can be when we were young. But how is it when you grow up?
Every month since April of 1995, I spend a full eight-hour day with 15 or so other business owners who show off what they’re doing in their businesses and criticize what I’m doing in mine. I’ve missed 5 of over 200 meetings since we started.
For four hours, listen to a speaker on a topic of interest to us all. Might be people management, financial practices or sales and marketing; and sometimes it’s about health and life in general.
The other half of the day is called “executive session.” We bare our souls to each other regarding our business (and sometimes our life) seeking input from other members who may have faced similar issues.
Twice a year, I have to present formally to the group an annual (life and business) plan. The process then calls for 10-15 minutes of questions and another 10-15 for the group to make suggestions. (I actually call this “the roaster.” I get very nervous before presenting.)
The concept is called Vistage and there are five or so groups in Cleveland and thousands more around the world. It’s a 60-year-old discipline so it’s tried and true and it’s benefited me so deeply that I recently wrote a paper to share with my friends about some of the more enduring lessons I’ve learned at Vistage. If you’d like a copy just leave an email for me and I’ll send it once it’s finished.
It’s tough to put myself on the grill for roasting so why do I invite this kind of peer pressure?
I bring this pressure on myself because I’d rather get killed by my peers, who actually have my best interest in mind, than by my competition. It’s that simple.
It took me a while to get used to the process – among my weaknesses is sensitivity and I tend to take everything personally – but I’ve grown accustomed to the process over time.
It’s a great exercise because we all live in our own little world. My advertising mentor said once, “our agency exists only because our clients can’t see themselves as we do; they need outside point of view.”
Even if you don’t join an association or peer group, seek criticism from people you respect. It’s a great to see how others see you and that’s a great first step to progress.
Peace,
Tim McCarthy